For whatever reason, I a was pretty opposed to Emerson's whole nature complex. I really couldn't tell you why either, I just instinctively resisted it for whatever reason; probably just the general dislike for the whole sappy thing. My "nature" experiment took me as far as the other side of the street. Edgy, I know. I live on the loverly island/peninsula/whatever you want to call it of Coronado. If challenged, I could go on and on about the benefits of the place I live, but I always feel like they are things taht I say more than actually believe. The fact is, there must be something I love about this place, to keep me commuting hours a day to a town thats pretty darn similar, and could easily have moved to years ago. Actually, my parents started talking more seriously about moving up to La Jolla, to make it easier on my mom who would be the school nurse on wed.'s and me who always complains about the drive. So it got me thinking: why am i so apposed to moving? theres the whole lived here forever thing, then theres the friends and nado clan, but there is somethign else.
so i did the unthinkable and went for a jog. (if you know me, then you understand how unthinkable this is as i am more of limper/lagger than a jogger)
I had no idea what to do for my nature thing. Wherever i go in this town there are people around. Focusing on nature and curling up inside my thoughts is not easy as I would much rather, listen to my ipod or check out the hot navy guys driving down ocean blvd. Instead i forced myself to ditch the ipod... and stare fixedly at the beach (which posed a bit of a navigation issue at times, as it turns out there are many people who enjoy the art of the jog [pronounced yog] which i will never understand) Long story short, what ended up happening was me stopping at one of the uglier parts of the beach. Right over the sewer type realease thing that happens to be a nice place to sit; a high cement block over looking the ocean if you look straight, or sewage if you look down.
So i sat there, and I tried to be somber and epic- i tried to think of things that depressed me but something about the constant crash of the waves. or the way the salty air clung to my hair just wouldnt allow it. I was thinking of nature all wrong. The deep calm that comes over doesnt have to be a deprssing or somber thing, it think tahts why i initially resisted the idea. I realized that there was a simple joy, and almost elation that i recieved from watching rats with wings dropping clams on the rocks. The more I sat, the more I started to feel attatched and blended with the nature. I became less connected to the passerbys, less conscious of the fact that i looked like a total loner, and more in tune with my dangling feet. the way the sun glinted off the ocean and the smell of salty old mussles. It all sounds so cliche, but i guess there is no escaping the beauty of nature, no matter how much you resist.
1 comment:
You gave me a good laugh with some parts of this, Kath.
But when I wasn't laughing, you made some good points. Mostly at the end, when you got into it, but also about having such an aversion to moving. It's something that's actually slowly creeping up on us when it comes to deciding where to go for college. I think that I'm so afraid of leaving La Jolla because I know it so well and I know the nooks and crannies and all that good stuff of the place, and where I can go to get away from the passerbys (as you seem to, though it takes you to... the sewer? But it does sound like a nice resting place nonetheless). I don't know, obviously, if it's the same for you or not but I think the fact that you know the nature around where you live makes you more at peace with it. Woot, corny.
Anywayyyy... I think it's interesting how you said that nature always has a way of calming us down because Emerson, not that he's right about everything or anything, but he said that "the power to produce this delight does not reside in nature, but in man, or in a harmony of both." And I think that's cool in that it's just another way to look at it. At first, you were trying to be Emersonian by depressing yourself or getting all somber but what ended up happening what Emerson took over without you even knowing and you just chilled and let the mixture of yourself and nature intertwine themselves, and you didn't have to do anything, really.
Good stuff. Congrats on that jog (obviously pronounced yog), by the way.
Oh, and you might wanna check out some pic or something that I have on my page?
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