Firstly, I have a bone to pick:
"Then, though I prize my friends, I cannot afford to talk with them and study their visions, lest I lose my own."
Interestingly put, Emerson. Maybe its me, maybe the times have changed, but I don't Know that I would like to be friends with someone who treats me like a book "ha[s] [me] where [they] can find [me], but seldom use[s] [me]." ouch. I don't think that's what friendship is about. I am a teenager, to me, frienship is what its all about. I am friends with my family and enjoy their company daily, I bounce ideas off of my friends and use their thoughts to either negate or formulate my own opinions, without them, my views would remain unchallenged and I, uneducated and selfish. I am not ashamed that I spend the majority of my time in the compony of friends, I don't think its wrong. Emerson states that friendship should be something that you put on the shelf, and use when needed, but he also says the only way to have a friend is to be one. Well how are your so called friends supposed to reach you when they need you from the SHELF? I feel like he is contradicting himself all over the place, I mean is it just me? I thought friendship was a two way street. I don't doubt that this guy is a smarty pants, and I agree with him on so many other levels but I guess i just cannot see eye to eye with him here.
One of those other points where I agree with him is on the whole "only the good and new is heard by us" that idea that we put new friends on a pedestal that they are bound to fall off of. For my friendship project, i wanted to focus on having no expectations for a friendship. First I had to find someone who i had no previously concieved notions of, which was hard. But then I had not concieve any notions previously EVEN HARDER. Let me tell you that the only way to do this, was to choose someone who didn't fit the bill of people who i'd normally talk to because otherwise i either already knew them or already had opinions on them at least; someone who i normally wouldnt get along with. I then had to strike up conversation, and try not to like them very much. what a delimma. I can truly say this was the hardest thing ever, and in and of itself was probably a fail, because in order to even pick someone to do this with, i had to THINK about them, which is some sort of opinion.
basically, i picked someone who i didn't think too highly of, someone who couldn't dissapoint me. With him, i avoided (or attempted to avoid) any topics of gossip, and delve into the ever-intense topics of LIFE.
The experience tought me. This person is not my best friend, and they haven't failed any expectations because i tried not to make any. I suppose this is not exactly what emerson was talking about as it was someone who i wasn't randomly introduced to, but i managed to sort of prove emerson wrong. He said that "as soon as the stranger begins to intrude his partialities, his definitions, his defects into the conversation, it is all over" which was false. I prodded the person for partialities and defects, and was thankful to find them, to keep that stranger out of expectations. I wanted to do this because i believe that with my best friends, their faults don't make me hate them, when I learn their weaknesses i feel closer to them, rather than casting them off. But i guess ultimately the project was difficult to gauge. I couldn't really say that the person was a friend, because i kept them so far at bay as to not start to like them too much and put them on any sort of pedastal.
This was a toughy.
2 comments:
Ya so basically I think Emerson had no friends and to make himself feel better told everyone else that their friends were books. Ha. What do you think of that Emerson. Way to work this guy, you would definetly win in a fight with this kid named Emerson. Ok lets get to work. I agree that its rediculous to have a friend placed on a shelf because a friend is there to be a friend. The definition of friend isn't cereal box or book. Its not like you use them when you want. Their friends because you care about them and having them sitting on a shelf all dusty and crackling is not being a very good friend. I agree that friends are there to help you and to chill with and when your distressed or in trouble that's when friends are needed most. A good friend is there for someone in a time of pain or sadness. They care about each other and that's why their friends. Their not ugly books on shelves Emerson! You seriously did some hustling on the day you spent with this kid you didn't even know. What struck me pretty lagit was how you said that he didn't become your friend but didn't fail any expectations either. Its pretty difficult to go in there having no pre-conceived notions of this person and to openly get to know him. I like how you said that his faults or weakness brought you closer to him. That I thought was cool. That when you get to know personal stuff about someone, it doesn't draw you away but pulls you closer. Way to work on this one kid. You really knocked Emerson's socks off.
kit kat bar...
I like your bloggy on amigos. I also am so creeped that we both refered to our blogs as bloggy without even knowing. Kinda weird. Anyways on the topic of Emerson...I completely agree with you. Who wants a friend that only uses their friends when they need them, and then ignores their friend's advice, so they don't polute their own mind. I'm not gonna lie it sounds like Emerson's idea friendyy is what we in the 21st century like to call...a fair weather friend. And that's not cool. I think your also right on the putting new friends on a higher level too. It's probably just because we don't know that persons faults yet...so they seem like super hero, and then oppsy you realize their just like all your other friends and they have their imperfections. It's really hard to see new friends for their actual personality because as Emerson says "we parry and fend off our fellow man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds." So it makes sense that new friends are at a totally different place than old ones, because old friends have already gone through this process. I also wanna put it out there... that I like the title...nice display of your intense language skills.
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